


Sweet Creature

by siriusly_gryffindorable



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Growing Up Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 04:25:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14741954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siriusly_gryffindorable/pseuds/siriusly_gryffindorable
Summary: Four vignettes from the relationship of Remus & Sirius. From the time they were boys at Hogwarts, they looked out for each other. They gave the other a home; a person to rely on. Though, they say, nothing lasts forever.Sweet creature had another talk about where it's going wrong. But we're still young. We don't know where we're going, but we know where we belong. Sweet creature, sweet creature. Wherever I go, you bring me home.





	Sweet Creature

Peter was still huffing after them when Remus collapsed on the ground next to James and Sirius. Those two were laughing hysterically, which was making it even harder for them to catch their breath. Even Remus was smirking as he leaned back against the tree, his eyes taking in the scene --- Peter slowing to a walk, the budding trees around the lake, James and Sirius crumpled on their sides as their hysterics continued. He felt like a normal 12-year-old boy then, like his only cares were losing points and prank wars.  


Remus rolled his eyes, “Surely their head of house will be informed. Enjoy your laughter now, before we’re found out.” His tone was sarcastic, but he wasn’t kidding entirely.

Sirius sprawled out on the ground, his chest heaving. “Take it easy, Remus,” he said, almost sounding bored, “Those Ravenclaws know the rules of war. Being a snitch is far worse than humiliation.”

Peter arrived, standing over the others, his face flushed and sweating. “What’ll you think their retaliation will be, James?”

“Oh, something clever I’m sure,” James said with an exaggerated eye roll, sitting up on his knees next to Remus.

“How did you come up with the idea to turn their cloaks into feathered ones?” Peter’s eyes were so wide with admiration they might have shot out of his head.

Sirius propped himself up on his shoulder, looking at Remus with an approving smile. “Our boy Lupin came up with the idea, if you can believe it.” 

Remus was about to protest – to tell them that his pun-laced, sardonic commentary about the haughtiness of birds shouldn’t have been taken so literally, when James clapped him on the shoulder. Before James could get out whatever praise he was going to offer, Remus yelped loudly in pain, recoiling from his friend.

James looked at Sirius, who had gotten to his feet, brow knit together, and then at Peter, who looked horrified. Taking a deep breath, James looked back at Remus. “Let’s see it then,” he said, not a question, but not forceful enough to be a command. 

All Remus could do was splutter, his shoulder still stinging as he tried to shake off his reaction – to make his face calm. James just continued to stare at him, giving him a look that said “I’m not stupid” mixed with pity. Resigned, Remus shifted the neck of his robe and unbuttoned his shirt so he could expose the three long gashes on this shoulder. If the others could see past his clothing, they’d find that the cuts extended from his shoulder blade to his hip. Peter gasped loudly, Sirius made a wounded noise in the back of his throat, but James just stared at the marks with wide eyes. 

“So your ill granny did this to you, did she?” James asked, voice full of suspicion, standing up slowly.

Remus could not remember what lie he’d fed them most recently. He stuttered, “I…well, you see I was…it’s not…” He looked up as James and Sirius exchanged knowing glances. Peter could hardly be seen behind them. Defeated, he brought his knees to his chest and hid his face.

“Come on mate, you can tell us the truth,” Sirius said.

“No. No, I really can’t,” Remus groaned into his kneecaps.

“Remus,” James said, calmly, “we aren’t idiots, you know. The timing is fairly obv…”

“Then what are you still doing here?” Remus burst, suddenly lifting his gaze to his friends. “If you know what I am, how can you bear to be around me? I’m a m-m-monster. I deserve to be alone” He had begun to cry. Their eyes were shocked, maybe even horrified. His shot at normalcy, at friends, was gone. It would be better to be alone. Remus put his face back to his knees as his body shook with sobs. They would walk away, he knew, leave him in his shame. The only hope he had was that they’d keep their discovery to themselves. 

After a few long moments, he felt someone sit next to him --- a warm side pressed along his. Remus just shook his head, they didn’t understand. He had to be alone. Then, a hand slid gingerly along his shoulder to rest on the opposite one. No one spoke. Finally, Remus took a deep breath and opened his eyes. James was kneeling in front of him, with Peter on his left. Their eyes were both wide but warm. He looked over at the boy pressed against him. Sirius looked determined, brow furrowed – much more serious than he’d ever seemed. “If you think,” he began softly, “that I…that we would leave you alone…you don’t know anything at all.” 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Remus had been sitting at his desk for nearly five minutes already, Professor Binns had only just come in the room. Remus did not believe in arriving to class late. It took time to get his parchment out, his quill ready for note taking. His friends often found occasion to mock him for being so precise, but he never struggled with his studies so he didn’t really care. Eventually, James came flying into the room at top speed only 2 minutes late, which, considering his record, was pretty commendable. Remus gave his friend a nod, and turned is attention back to Binns, but then it occurred to him that James had entered alone. He looked back at the door and then to James on his right, raising his eyebrow in an unspoken question. James just shook his head and shrugged. He looked sympathetic, but not overly concerned. Remus furrowed his brow for a moment, and then sighed, his attention back on the good professor droning on at the front of the room. 

The minutes ticked by, but Remus could not escape the gnawing feeling in his gut. His eyes kept flitting to the empty seat in front of James. It finally became too much to bear. Remus gathered his things as quietly as he could and slipped from the classroom without being noticed by Binns. He didn’t even pause to watch the confused look grow on James’ face. Outside of the classroom, he took a moment to consider where to check first; there were almost too many options --- too many hiding places. He scrubbed his hand over his face and sighed as he thought. Finally, Remus nodded to himself and made his way to his dormitory. 

A dark mess of hair was visible over the top of the bed when Remus entered the room. Sirius was seated on the floor, leaning back against his bed. So far as Remus could tell, the other boy was just staring at his feet, stretched out in front of him. Then Sirius gave a shuddering sigh mixed with a sniffle. Remus froze, but Sirius must have sensed him there because his shoulders tensed.  


“I told you, James,” he said in a tight voice, “I’m fine.”

Remus cleared his throat, stalling for a moment. “It’s me, Padfoot,” he said softly.

Instantly, Sirius shot off the floor. He spun around, wiping at his eyes with his hands. “What are you doing here, Moony?” he asked thickly. 

The boy in front of Remus did not look fine. His hair was messy, like he’d been running his hands through it over and over again, his eyes were puffy, and cheeks were blotched with flush. Remus inhaled sharply, his eyes widening. He opened his mouth, but before he could make a word, Sirius interrupted him.  


“You know, when you got that prefect badge, we thought it would be to our benefit.” Sirius bit sharply.

Remus tilted his head to the side, confused, then looked down at the ‘P’ clasped to his robe. “What does that…” he began slowly.

“Oh piss off Remus.” Sirius said, his voice bubbling with anger. “I don’t have time to listen to your holier than thou lecture about skiving off classes, as if History of Magic even matters.”

Remus was in stunned silence for a moment. He shook his head, “That’s not…”

Sirius scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back on a post of the bed behind him. “You’re going to tell me that you don’t treat us like children now? Now that you have an ounce of power.”

Confusion gave way to frustration, and suddenly Remus wasn’t worried about Sirius anymore. “I don’t treat you any way,” he said, his voice rising just a little. In response, the other boy just rolled his eyes. And without warning Lupin was shouting, “But if you choose to act like a child…”

“You think you’re so much better and smarter than the rest of us. Golden boy, Lupin.” Sirius growled.

“Yes,” Lupin said sarcastically, “I’m so superior. Half breed, mongrel that I am.”

“Oh and then of course you play the werewolf card. Must be so hard to be you.”

“Well if you’d like to trade places, I’d happily agree. Though, I’ll have to practice not giving a shit about anyone or anything.”

“That’s right, Moony,” Sirius retorted, his voice echoing through the room. “I don’t care about anything. But at least I don’t care more about what my teachers think than I do my friends, you fucking kiss ass.”

“If I care so much about what they think,” he yelled, his voice shaking with anger, “why in Merlin’s name did I leave class to check on you? To make sure YOU were alright.”

Sirius mouth opened and closed several times. If he weren’t so furious, Remus would have laughed to see Sirius Black speechless. Finally, Sirius stammered, “What?”

“Complete waste of time apparently,” Remus snapped, still tense with anger. “Since your opinion of me is so low --- know it all, werewolf, charity case that doesn’t care about his friends. Did I miss anything?”

“I…geez,” Sirius said, in almost a meek voice, “Moony, you know I didn’t…” And then his eyes were shining.

Remus’ shoulders released their tension. He sighed heavily, “I know.”

“My head’s a mess.”

"Well, if you didn’t play with your hair so much, it wouldn’t look half bad.”

“Prat,” Sirius gave a weak chuckle, and Remus smiled in return. It was, however, short lived because the tears started to fall in earnest from Sirius’ eyes.

“Padfoot,” Lupin whispered, taking a step toward his friend.

Sirius recoiled and turned away, his arms crossed tightly over his body, hugging himself. “Don’t,” he said, “Just leave me alone.”

Remus stood his ground. “Have you heard from your family at all?”

There was a loud sniff, Sirius shook his head. He took a moment before he responded. “Good old Regulus got an owl from mother today,” his voice was unsteady, like he was barely maintaining composure. “The great Mrs. Black told him to let me know that I wasn’t welcome home for the holidays. Or, you know, ever again.”

“Oh, Sirius,” said Lupin, moving closer to his friend, his hand outstretched.

He just shook his head harder, wiping at his nose with his hand. “Doesn’t matter. I mean, it’s not like I want to be at that horrible place with those horrible people.” 

Remus’ hand landed on Sirius shoulder then, and that was all it took for him to break. Sirius turned into the other boy, body shaking with sobs. “I’m no one. No family. No home. No one,” he whimpered, his face resting on Remus’ shoulder.  
Lupin just pulled him closer. “If you think you don’t have a family, then you really don’t know anything at all.” 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

The night had been beautiful. For as dark as times were, the feelings there, in that tent, had been all joy and love and laughter. Remus watched, leaning against one of the tent poles, as James and Lily twirled around the dance floor. James’ face screwed up with seriousness as he tried to remember the steps, and Lily’s face bright with jubilant laughter as her husband clumsily lead. It was the kind of night that gives people hope. Remus smiled to himself, sipping at his fire whiskey. His gaze was drawn to another corner of the tent by the sound of Sirius’ laugh. Everyone had had a lot to drink, but Sirius was in a league of his own. He was trying desperately to get Minerva McGonagall to dance with him, causing hysterics among the people watching. Rolling his eyes, Remus drained the rest of his cup and walked over. 

“Sorry about this, Min,” Remus said apologetically, as he hooked an arm around Sirius’ middle, attempting to pull him away from her.

Laughing, she replied, “No need to apologize for Mr. Black, Remus. He’s just deep in his revels.”

“Lemme go, Moony,” Sirius growled, but without aggression. He wasn’t even putting up that much of a fight as Remus pulled him.

“Come now, Sirius, I think it’s about time you called it a night,” Remus replied softly, managing to lead him a bit closer to the exit, but in doing so, put them almost on the dance floor.

Sirius pulled free and grabbed Remus’ hand, “One more dance, Moony,” he insisted.

“I’m not sure any of the ladies will have you like this,” Lupin teased.

“Well, then it’s a good job I don’t want to dance with a lady,” Sirius replied, pulling Lupin against him, one hand holding Lupin’s hip.

“Merlin’s beard, you’re drunker than I thought,” Remus said, forcing an awkward laugh. He was attempting to sound casual, but red was creeping up his neck.

Sirius rolled his eyes and pulled Lupin closer to him, their hips perfectly aligned. “Dance with me,” he insisted.

Swallowing hard, Remus tried to pull away, but Sirius wasn’t having it. The rational part of his brain knew that everyone was watching the bride and groom, but he couldn’t help but imagine all of the eyes in the tent on them. “Sirius, you’re drunk. I’m going to take us home.”

He lifted their connected hands and twirled ungracefully under them, staggering to face Remus again. “Fine. Home it is.” 

Remus led them out of the tent into the garden, his heart racing inexplicably. He linked arms with Sirius and together they apparated to their London flat. It wasn’t a large place, but it had housed the four of them quite nicely. They all knew that James wouldn’t last very long with them, and he spent so many nights with Lily even before the engagement that Sirius’ room was essentially a single. Remus and Peter shared the other bedroom. Once at home, Remus filled a large glass with water and carried it to Sirius room. The other man was already inside, unceremoniously stripping off his dress robes.

“I’m putting a glass of water next to your bed,” Remus said, purposefully not looking at Sirius who was showing more skin by the second. “You should drink it all before you go to sleep.”

“Don’t want to sleep,” Sirius said, kicking off his socks. He was only in pants.

“Well that’s just fine,” Remus said, eyes glued to the floor, “Suit yourself.”

Sirius crowded in in front of Remus, who was forced to lift his gaze. Eyes trailing over Sirius’ thighs and stomach and collarbone. When their eyes met, Sirius was grinning like a predator. “Stay with me tonight.”

He could feel the heat in his stomach. “Wh-what? And listen to your drunken snores? No thank you,” Remus stammered.

Sirius put his hands on Remus’ shoulders, pushing at his dress robes in an attempt to remove them. “No,” he replied firmly.

“What are you doing, Sirius?” Remus’ voice was pitched up in embarrassment.

“Something I should have done a long time ago.”

“You’re drunk.”

“So what?” 

Lupin could not immediately come up with a response to that, and in his moment of indecision, Sirius surged forward and pressed his lips to the other man’s. A low, strangled noise burst in Remus’ throat and he felt frozen. His mind was perfectly blank for a long moment, not pulling away but not kissing Sirius back either.  
But true to form, Sirius was more than happy to press the issue. Sirius broke the kiss, sighing, “Moony,” before bringing their lips together again, his tongue tracing the other man’s bottom lip. His hand found the side of Remus’ neck, thumb stroking his jaw. Sirius’ other hand latched onto Remus’ hip, roughly pulling their bodies together. With their hips flush, Remus could feel how hard Sirius had grown. Any plausible deniability flew out the window. 

Remus was trembling. Those secret thoughts and desires that he had ignored and dismissed for years were bubbling to the surface. He realized suddenly that his hands had found their way onto Sirius’ shoulders, and they were snaking their way to the back of his neck. His body betraying him, and he could feel Sirius smiling into the kiss, which was both wonderful and infuriating enough for him to pull back. “Sirius, this is a bad idea…” he whimpered, almost mortified at how breathless he sounded. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Sirius, but he also couldn’t bring himself to fully break contact. 

Sirius used the hand on his jaw to tilt his face upward. Their eyes met and Sirius was smirking, eyes dark with lust. “Why?” he said hungrily, “This is something we both want…obviously.” He punctuated it with a slow roll of his hips, drawing a moan from both men. 

With a tight, strained voice, Remus continued to protest, “Because…because you’re drunk and we’re not thinking clearly and…and in the morning, we’ll just regret it.” Sirius had not taken his eyes from Remus’, and he didn’t immediately reply, just continuing to smile. Remus huffed, blinking several times, like he was trying to clear his vision. “Right?” he asked. 

Sirius laughed softly, shaking his head as he wrapped his arms around Remus. He took a few steps backward, pulling them both toward his bed, and Remus didn’t resist him. “Remus,” he practically purred, “If you think that I haven’t been imaging this moment every day since we were 15,” he paused as he sat down, pulling a willing Remus down to straddle him, “then you really don’t know anything at all.” 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

The weather had been miserable all day. Plenty of November days are chilly and overcast, but this day had been pale, almost colorless, and it was the kind of cold that buries itself against your skin no matter how many layers you were wearing. 

Remus stood alone, staring down at the white marble, as the sky darkened with the setting sun. He had not moved in what felt like hours, though it could have been seconds or decades for all he cared. Reason told him to walk away – to get out of the cold. But where would he even go? Plenty of well wishers had invited him to join them for supper, but he couldn’t bear the idea of making small talk, seeing pity in their eyes, and hearing uniformed commentary on what had happened to his friends. Members of the Order insisted he come stay with them for a while, but there wasn’t really a point to that. With You-Know-Who gone, there was no more war to fight – no more work to do. 

He should just go ho---. No. He didn’t have one of those. There was nothing waiting in that flat for him but pain. Remus shoved his hands in his pockets, squeezing his eyes shut. The memory played in his mind unbidden – He hadn’t been back in the flat for more than an hour, finally returning from weeks underground trying to make connections with other werewolves, when a silver toad appeared in the living room. He heard Frank Longbottom’s voice, “There’s been an attack in Godric’s Hollow…” And that was all he need to send him sprinting out of the flat. The next day had passed in blur. It was a mad hunt for the truth; trying to sort out fact from fiction. In the end, two of his best friends were dead and his --- had been dragged off to Azkaban. Remus hadn’t even been allowed to see him. Though he wasn’t certain he would have been able to stomach it. 

There had been parties celebrating the defeat of the Dark Lord and vigils of those mourning the lives lost. But Remus saw none of it. He crawled to one of the safe houses and lay on the floor until the funeral. And even then, it took every ounce of strength to force himself to stand, to apparate to Godric’s Hollow. 

Remus opened his eyes, feeling the cold, wetness on his knees. Realizing slowly that he’d crumpled to the ground. He lifted his gaze to the marble stone, now at eye level. _The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death_ written below the names of his friends and years that marked too short lives. Remus shook his head bitterly and stood. 

Alone. Homeless. Empty. “No,” he whispered to himself, “There are things much worse than death.” Remus Lupin turned and walked away from the grave into the growing darkness.

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to long road trips and Harry Styles for being a source of inspiration.


End file.
